The Witching Hour

If you believe in angels & demons, then supposedly 3PM is the angels' time, and 3AM is that of the demons - also known as the witching hour.

I'm not sure what I think about that, but I know that it's almost 3AM and I feel a little haunted. Not by ghosts or demons, but by loneliness, sadness, helplessness, frustration.

It's hard to be just 5 weeks from my estimated due date for this second pregnancy and to so badly want to just hang out with my beloved 2-year old. I feel too sore & tired & heavy most of the time to do the things that Simon and I normally do, and I feel guilty for telling him "no" simply due to pregnancy-related things. I feel like a bit of a prisoner in my own home, and yet Simon (and I) get stir-crazy just sitting home every day. But when I go out and about with him, it physically exhausts me so quickly that I wonder if it isn't better to just stay home. Tomorrow is supposed to be park day, but the friends we usually hang out with aren't going to be there and the unpredictability of who might or might not also be there is making me feel like I don't know if I can handle going. And then I feel stuck & bored & sad at the idea of just staying home all day - and keeping Simon here.

Oh...the witching hour has me in it's grasp tonight. I feel so alone and frustrated...and yet I know that it could just as easily be hormonally-induced "witching."

Times like these are when I fantasize about living closer to family.