In-House Project

Some of our house-improvement-in-order-to-sell-it projects are ones that we can do ourselves. The fireplace tile job wasn't great, but it was too scary to tear it all out (what might we find behind it?) and it got pricier that way too...in materials & time. But Adam decided to scrape out the grout (or grout-substitute substances, as the case in fact was) and re-grout it to be a nice even color. I should have taken a close-up "before" photo...but the grout was pink, half-there, and some of the holes were filled with caulk. Some of the holes were just holes.

Vacuuming up the grout-substance rubble

Beginning to grout. The color we chose is called "ivory" - aka "bland enough to blend with all the various tile colors and still not draw any attention to itself." Perfect!

Done grouting, about to start cleaning

Same *ahem* creative array of tile...new mellow grout

Vote for Stucco?

It's looking like our house is just going to get better & better till we sell it. The next project on the horizon is hiring contractors to stucco the outside of the house and the wall that encloses the back yard. What color do you like?

Projects

Sometimes I let myself get too caught up in details of what has to be done, but sometimes I'm okay with the work ahead and the current progress. Currently, I'm okay. It's kind of amazing in a way.

We got our carport torn down, as you've seen by my previously posted pictures. Then last week we got our chimney checked & cleaned, which was evidently something that should have been done before we bought the house. Yesterday a handy friend came over & looked at our house to see about finishing the stucco on the exterior walls, and today another contractor is coming to give us an estimate too. Basically at this point, the first person/company who says "yes, I can do the work, I can do it in your relatively urgent time frame, and it will cost you this [reasonable] amount" will be hired. I'm excited to feel like progress on some of these bigger hired-out projects is being made.

And I've currently got about 10 boxes of varying sizes fully packed, arranged in the basement & ready to go. Whoo!

Good-bye White Male Supremacy

The other day my dear husband pops his head around a doorway to where I am with a riddle:

"How do you know when you're a domestic goddess?" He asked.

His answer?

"When you're rinsing poopy cloth diapers in the toilet with hot pink rubber gloves."

"Seriously," he says, "how many guys do you know that would wear pink gloves and plunge poopy diapers in the toilet?" I think I burst his bubble a little when I actually could come up with a few names of guy friends of ours that likely would do exactly that. It doesn't make my dear spouse any less wonderful though - and it does make me just that much more proud to think how many great guys I know. Next time you're having a drink, toast to the man you know who would be willing to refer to himself, proudly, as a "domestic goddess." Cheers!

Choir Antics

I feel like today was my first day back at school after the holiday break. I am not in school, however, I am in our local Community Chamber Singers Choir and rehearsals started back up again tonight.

It was a trip to be back. Everyone was really goofy - you could tell we were all happy to be together again and singing.

Mick, the director, asked us all to introduce ourselves since there were a few new people who joined since last "semester." The first guy started with his name and tacked on "and I don't know how I got here." Everyone laughed - he's a bit of a jester anyway. The next guy gives his name & says "and I was invited to come join the choir." There was a humorous "ooh" as the first guy blushed a bit. The next person went on to say his name and how he's been in the choir since it started 20 years ago. And the next person shared how it was because of someone else in the choir he joined. And so on. We went around the whole room - relatively briefly sharing how we got into this choir. Some were brand new and just happened to hear a performance & decide to join. Most, by far, had been invited or encouraged by someone else in the choir. It was like people-BINGO.

After we got done w/ everyone - and by this time probably 20 minutes had passed - Mick, stifling a grin, said, "well, I don't remember asking you all to share how you got in the choir, but it was interesting," and then cracked up. Oops. Guess we were all either a) not paying full attention when he asked us to briefly introduce ourselves, b) overly eager to share a bit about ourselves and make connections with others, or c) both of the above.

Weather, Packing, Computers and Personality Types

The weather today is decidedly un-New-Mexican. We have super strong gusty winds, and have seen an oscillation of rain, sleet, snow, hail, and even momentary spurts of sunshine. Almost all day some form of precipitation has been pelting the windows, but the direction seems inconsistent - so all my windows are pelted at some point or another. Needless to say, it's not a very inspiring day to go out and try to do errands or enjoy the weather...

So here I am, at home, stepping only briefly on the front porch for something as necessary. I've done quite a bit of packing of unnecessary things - like paperwork that is important to keep but not at all vital to daily life. I've also been on the computer more today than most days - because it's early in the week, I don't have church work to do for next Sunday yet, so I'm enjoying leisure computer time. I was catching up on some blogs I read, and I ran across a link through one of them for a Myers-Briggs Type Personality test. Well, it's an abbreviated one, but I love these kinds of tests, so of course I took it. It only takes a few minutes - I'd encourage you to take it and let me know your type. Here 'tis: Take the Test!

And, like the person who posted this which lead me to find it, I implore you to take the test and let me know your Type so I can read about you and know better how to love you & be a friend to you.

Here's the scoop on me, according to this test. I think it's about 98% accurate surprisingly. I'm usually less accepting of test results b/c everything has an exception it seems...but this was pretty right on:

Portrait of an INFJ - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
(Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Feeling)

The Protector

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Intuition
Auxilliary: Extraverted Feeling
Tertiary: Introverted Thinking
Inferior: Extraverted Sensing

For more information on the INFJ Type in Relationships, as a Lover, Parent and Friend, and for general Strengths & Weaknesses, check it out here. Or, for another take on the INFJ, read about it through this site.

Carport turned View

From the perspective of the front of the house, here's the change in a few days:

Every time I see this final picture, I feel like I can breathe again!

Carport Dismantling

We have a short window of time before we have to put our house on the market. In that window, we have several projects to make it more attractive to a potential buyer, and/or to be able to get a better price for it. Many of these projects are either finishing things that a previous owner left unfinished, or getting rid of things in bad shape. This is an example of the latter. While we loved having shade for my car, this carport was in terrible shape. Both horizontal beams were sagging, and one part of the roof of it was completely rotted through. Several leaks made it not very useful at all for keeping rain off my car. We opted to tear it down & clean up the front of the house instead of rebuilding it - which would cost several thousand dollars. Our friend Kevin offered to tear it down for the price of whatever materials he could salvage, and we both thought we got a great deal. Here are four "from the street" view pictures throughout the process. It's not completely finished, although the carport IS completely gone.

Our Holiday Photo

This is probably a little bit illegal, but I decided to scan in our holiday photo to share with you all. Due to a misprint on the first batch, we actually have almost 100 extra copies of this photo card. If you are reading this and didn't receive one already in the mail or in person from us, you're welcome to contact me and I'll send you one. I don't know what to do with all the extras!

A New Year

Wow - I can't believe that I'm about to write a current post. Lately all I do is update from past events. Now that Christmas is over and the camera is getting a little rest, I have time to write and be in the present moment instead!

So, as you can tell from our holiday letter (if you didn't already know) we are expecting a lot of big changes in 2008. One big change is the addition of another baby to our family at the end of May, but that feels like a relatively small change in comparison to the other big change. Or maybe it's just because we've already been through a pregnancy & the addition of a baby, so it seems like something we've done before. I know every pregnancy & childbirth & baby is a unique experience, but it's easy to spend very little time & energy thinking & talking about it this time. Maybe it's due to the fact that Simon keeps us so busy that we don't have time, and maybe it's as much because I personally don't like a lot of attention if I can avoid it, so I just opt not to talk about it. I AM excited about it, and we are happy to celebrate that as of New Year's Eve we are at 20 weeks (halfway!) - I just would rather talk about Simon than my body & pregnancy.

The other big change isn't about my body, so I'm happier to talk candidly about it. :) This is the "Christmas surprise" I mentioned in the Official 2007 Christmas blog entry I wrote on Simon's blog. When my parents left us after a too-short visit in late-November, Adam & I began to talk more about family. When my grandmother in Washington state died a week later, we talked that much more about family & grandparents & relationships with long-distance versus close-by people. I was teary for most of these days.

But then we began to discuss the idea - "What IF we moved back to Grand Rapids?" Could we do it financially, emotionally, physically? What would it change? Would it be a good idea? What would we be moving away from? What would we be moving toward? And somehow, since the last time we had talked about "home" and where that might be, we had both independently come to the decision that Grand Rapids was home and we wanted to go back. This was a pretty shocking realization for both of us, as when we moved from Grand Rapids to Silver City 4 1/2 years ago we vowed we'd NEVER move back to Grand Rapids. Time & perspective & children change things!

So actually moving itself has been something we've talked about on & off for a few years. We really love it here and it's going to be super hard to leave, but we realized this isn't Home. A few years ago it was "we'll never move back to GR," then it was "maybe we'd move to Madison, WI or Chicago or within a half-day drive of GR," then it was "as long as we're not right in the city - we could do Hastings or Lowell or something a little more rural & small & it would have a similar feel." But after this most recent visit w/ my parents when we actually talked about GR with the idea "what IF Grand Rapids really could be our long-term home?" it began to feel really obviously right. We talked about the opportunities Grand Rapids provides - jobs, schools, fun things to do w/ kids - we talked about the economics of the area compared to here, we talked about family, we talked about friends & relationships that we'd be leaving or coming back to (or anticipating new), we talked about churches...and all the signs pointed to GR being a good choice. For the heart, mind & soul! :) So even though I'm on & off in tears about leaving (especially our best friends here...but it doesn't help that I'm pregnant, so I might be a little more emotional anyway), we're really really excited about it.

Both Adam & I had also independently come to a place where we both knew we wanted to stay put in life too. We were both raised in families that stayed in one place - my parents moved across town once when I was in middle school, but it didn't change my school or anything. And Adam's mom still lives in the home he grew up in. The idea of moving multiple times is not appealing to us, and neither of us are really jazzed about the idea of living in a small rural town thousands of miles away from family for the rest of our lives - and our kids only knowing grandparents as long-distance visitors. It just wasn't good enough, and we finally realized that without any “but”’s. As much as we love it here, there were far more reasons pulling us back Home than keeping us here.

Now that we're thinking about it & talking about it & putting the wheels in motion, we can't help but think of much else. We're looking at Silver City differently - almost as if we are tourists. Relatively long-term tourists, since by the time we leave we'll have lived here for 5 years, but tourists nonetheless. We've begun collecting boxes and withdrawing from a few things here - without trying to shut out local life too much. We sometimes play a “game” as we’re getting ready to go to sleep for the night – “Quick, off the top of your head – what are 5 things you’re most excited about in Grand Rapids?” Or the same, but 5 things you won’t miss about this place? Or 5 things you anticipate developing/creating at our new/old home?

And as it’s now a new year, it’s natural to start talking about goals & plans & resolutions for the upcoming year. Our New Year’s Day while Simon was napping we spent talking about what we want to look for in the house we buy in Grand Rapids. We talked about what rooms we require, what rooms we’d like but aren’t necessary, and what would be too much. We talked about yards & neighborhoods & floor plans. We envisioned our family, plus new baby, in a home in Michigan, just across town from most of our extended families.

Since baby #2 is due at the end of May, and we’re already planning on the annual Rozeboom family cottage vacation at the end of July, we’re hoping to relocate in the June/early July window to avoid (if nothing else) a few extra plane tickets. We’ll keep you updated on the progress. For now, we’re making a few changes to our house here in preparation for putting it on the market, and gathering boxes (as I said already) from any & all local businesses that will set them aside for us. As we pack we’re organizing our basement a bit so we know for sure what boxes are ready to go and don’t need to be touched again till we’re relocated in our new home, when we get Home.

Best wishes to you all in 2008 whatever YOUR big plans are!

Christmas Day - our dinner (mostly prepared by Adam)

The Slightly Less Official Christmas 2007 entry

I wrote the Official Christmas 2007 entry on Simon's blog, b/c more of our festivities & holiday spirit centers around him anyway. But here are a few pictures - Christmas Eve dinner, the tree with all the gifts, our "casual" family holiday photo, and the Christmas moon over our backyard and Christmas lights. After the pictures, I've copied & pasted the text from our holiday letter this year. That will answer a few questions you might have after having read a few other entries. Happy Holidays!

Greetings family – those by blood and those by choice –

Another sunshiny year has passed for us in our beloved Silver City! Southwest New Mexico has served us very well for 4 ½ years now – providing family and friends, spiritual & academic & professional growth opportunities, and feeling very much like “home.” Lately, however, our attention & energy has shifted as we begin setting things in motion to move back to the Grand Rapids, Michigan area for our long term “settled” home. As we anticipate moving possibly within the year, we also reflect on how our lives have been enriched not only in the past year, but in our several years here in Silver City, New Mexico.

This year itself brought about few big changes, but it was a year of building on all that happened last year. Adam is still plugging his way through school online with Western Governor’s University. He’s had some rough classes this year, but is excited about the semester that just began. For the next 6 months he will be working on the initial Education classes for his teaching degree – and he can’t wait for these courses. They promise to be fun and challenging in a relevant way. 3 semesters down, 4 to go! Then a semester of student teaching and he’s on his way to career #2 for his young 31 years.

Unlike the second half of 2006 where Adam’s self-owned & operated Deep Dish Tile experienced a business drought, this fall has been almost TOO busy. Work had been slow, with mostly small jobs earlier in the year that didn’t earn as much money for his time. Summertime found him actively looking for gainful employment, but the search proved relatively unsuccessful. As we were beginning to feel discouraged, some local men who own two apartment complexes approached him & asked him to tile every apartment as they were vacated throughout the next year(s). We thought at the time it would only be 1-2 per month, but it’s been 4 or 5, and they’re not small! Adam’s starting to feel like maybe his body doesn’t love him for doing hard physical labor, so he’s that much more inspired to get his degree done.

I completed my 3-year term on the Board of Directors for our Silver City Food Co-op, and subsequently was elected for another. After completing my 1-year term of being board President, I opted not to make myself available for election to that position again – it was more work and energy than I could handle with my other work and parenting busyness. After just a few months, however, I chose to resign completely. Primarily this is due to the fact that we are hoping to move within the year, and it’s better for the Co-op to have someone with more energy & less distraction to offer. Being on the Board taught me a lot about working with people and was an invaluable experience.

I mentioned in last year’s holiday letter that I had begun researching seminaries for my next road of education. I’m still hoping to pursue seminary, but I’m realistic about it probably not happening for several years yet. Not only is it a lot having Adam in school, but if both parents were in school I’m not sure any housework would ever get done! Plus, I’m really enjoying this time as Momma to Simon, and hope to have several more years of at-home-parenting before jumping into the next goal. I still meet with my Spiritual Director, though not every month. I’ve backed off on several of my involvements as I prepare for Baby #2 at the end of May. It’s hard work keeping up with a busy 2-year old and being pregnant at the same time!

This brings me to Simon – our joy and little stinkbug all rolled into one! :) We celebrated his 2^nd birthday a few days before his actual day (Dec. 1) because Grandma Lizzy & Grandpa were here from Michigan. We had a fun party with presents from all the family & extended family. At one point he said “no more presents,” so I think we’ve learned a lesson about pacing the excitement when it comes time for Christmas. He learned to walk a little later than the “curve” – I think he was about 16 or 17 months old. But he’s got it covered well by now – the next challenge is learning to ride his new tricycle from Grandpa & Grandma. And he’s always been ahead of the “curve” with words. Simon is an expressive, chatty kid. He’s great fun to talk to and hang out with, and he’s highly capable of expressing his desires and preferences. We have a Tuesday morning standing play group at our local Community Built Park that Simon loves. Swings, slides and friends all at once! I’m not sure he quite understands what it means that he’s going to be a big brother, but he loves babies to the point of excessive patting & hugging & kissing, so we’re thinking he’ll adjust pretty happily as he does with most everything.

In February Simon was baptized, our dear friends Rob & Tyler Connoley became his doting Godparents, and we became members at our local United Church of Christ. In March I was asked to be the secretary. It’s a dear little church with an inclusive, loving, serving congregation, and we truly feel part of a family. The secretarial work is all done from my home computer & phone, so I’m still able to be a full-time Momma, which is my truest and best job.

Other high points of the year include the 4^th of July parade in which we walked with the PFLAG group again and a July vacation to Michigan that encompassed 6 days at a beautiful (and large!) cottage on Lake Michigan with the whole family. While there we celebrated twin nieces Anna & Rachel’s first birthdays, and Simon got a cake just for fun – because his cousins did. When my parents (Rozebooms) were here for a visit in February they were able to attend (and sing a duet in) the worship service when Simon was baptized. With their help we completely remodeled our office/TV room that doubles as a guest room. And Adam DID finally finish the bathroom he had gutted, so we now have a really lovely northern “wing” of the house.

I “resigned” from my Monday night knitting group in order to join our local Community Chamber Singers choir (which rehearses on Monday nights) – and singing again has filled my soul in a way nothing else can. Singing is my joy – my spiritual connection. At our winter concert on December 2^nd I even sang a solo for one of our songs. Adam said it made his skin tingle. I guess that’s better than making his skin crawl! :)

As we round the corner for another calendar year and welcome the light returning back to the Northern Hemisphere after the Solstice, we anticipate a busy and exciting “homecoming” year. We look forward to welcoming a new baby late in the month of May, and we look forward to relocating back to our hopefully long-term home of Grand Rapids, Michigan within the year. Again this summer we are excited about the whole family (plus husbands & FOUR children) congregating at a Lake Michigan cottage for a week.

This holiday season, especially as we look down a road full of changes and new beginnings, we are deeply grateful for our health, our love for each other and our child(ren), and the truly beautiful family we’ve become part of here in Silver City. While we are thrilled to be moving back, our hearts break at least a little bit at leaving so many things and people that we love here. Between December of 2005 and December of 2007 we lost an uncle and two grandmothers. But even as we are saddened by our losses, we rejoice to know they are free of the struggle to live that had become their final months & weeks. We celebrate knowing that our children will grow up with most of their extended family within a short drive, so they too will know their aunts & uncles & grandparents & cousins. We’re grateful for the unstoppable journey that each new day is, and for our sweet Simon who drives us ever forward in creativity & playfulness and increases our joy constantly. And we find ourselves living each day in hope as we anticipate the advent of our Lord.

Joy and Peace to you this holiday season –

Adam, Bethany Joy & Simon Gerard Lange