This is my husband.
He got new glasses. I like them. A lot. I think he looks pretty sexy.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Queen Vacillation
Oh, Bethany -
When will you ever get good at decisiveness? When will you stop waiting for the "right" choice to smack you in the face, and instead operate with the best you've got, and have some faith?
Just when I think something might make sense, a thought or feeling - a conversation or moment in time - occurs and changes it all.
I guess this is something to be grateful for, and something I can attribute to the larger plan for my life that the Divine Mystery (God/dess) has for my life. Maybe it's grace in disguise. By keeping me on my toes just enough to keep my attention God proves to me (through me) that I don't have all the answers...never have, never can, never will, never should, never want to.
Life really is more exciting when you don't have the illusion of total control, but it's still a bit of a shock to be reminded of my limited vision.
A friend said tonight (I paraphrase): five years ago who knew that you'd be where you are today? And five years from today?
It's a mystery. My illusions of certainty crumble somewhat regularly; I ask for it, and yet I'm always surprised.
When will you ever get good at decisiveness? When will you stop waiting for the "right" choice to smack you in the face, and instead operate with the best you've got, and have some faith?
Just when I think something might make sense, a thought or feeling - a conversation or moment in time - occurs and changes it all.
I guess this is something to be grateful for, and something I can attribute to the larger plan for my life that the Divine Mystery (God/dess) has for my life. Maybe it's grace in disguise. By keeping me on my toes just enough to keep my attention God proves to me (through me) that I don't have all the answers...never have, never can, never will, never should, never want to.
Life really is more exciting when you don't have the illusion of total control, but it's still a bit of a shock to be reminded of my limited vision.
A friend said tonight (I paraphrase): five years ago who knew that you'd be where you are today? And five years from today?
It's a mystery. My illusions of certainty crumble somewhat regularly; I ask for it, and yet I'm always surprised.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Don't Be Blue
I have funky hair again. Last summer I dyed the full rainbow into my hair for gay pride month & the 4th of July parade. This year I decided to do something a little simpler. I let the stylist do a funky cut with lots of layers, and I got blond highlights...accented with bright blue "lowlights."
My hair is my favorite accessory. And it will always grow out and be something different, so it's a fun canvas for creativity.
Don't worry, mom - the blue will probably wash out in a month or less. But in the meantime, I'm having fun!
My hair is my favorite accessory. And it will always grow out and be something different, so it's a fun canvas for creativity.
Don't worry, mom - the blue will probably wash out in a month or less. But in the meantime, I'm having fun!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
4th of July
The parade theme was "Grant County: Past, Present & Future," so our sign simply said "Families: Our Past, Present & Future." We all wore solid shirts of the colors in the rainbow, played with rainbow beach balls & blew bubbles, and handed out proud and allied buttons & rainbow bracelets. It was a "palatable" entry this time, and we experienced predominantly supportive, cheering responses. It was especially sweet when kids would jump up from their seats on the curb, watching, and play in the bubbles or throw back a beach ball blown astray. We truly seemed to bring joy to the festivities this year. I only saw one small group of 4 individuals turn their backs as we passed by, and personally I heard no negative jeers.
Even though it was minimal, it's still heart-wrenching to me when I experience this kind of judgment & discrimination for supporting & loving my gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgendered friends & family. I'm grateful for the opportunity to ally myself with such a loving LGBT family as I find here in Silver City. I'm grateful that family doesn't have to be limited to the people we were born sharing a gene pool with, and that our family of choice includes such a colorful array of people. :)
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Locally Grown
Medical marijuana in New Mexico...
What a crazy state I live in.
In my Co-op "world" we spend a lot of time & energy with the promotion of local products...not necessarily organic ones. Organic standards aren't what they should be, and in some countries may not be enforced as we'd expect. The benefits of organic are clear, but when faced w/ a choice between foods grown 20 miles from my home that might not be organic and foods labeled organic at the grocery store but wrapped in plastic and shipped from Ecuador...well, local wins out for me.
If only we could get the state to put such resources into ensuring that New Mexicans have the necessary support & legislation to make local food production a priority.
What a crazy state I live in.
In my Co-op "world" we spend a lot of time & energy with the promotion of local products...not necessarily organic ones. Organic standards aren't what they should be, and in some countries may not be enforced as we'd expect. The benefits of organic are clear, but when faced w/ a choice between foods grown 20 miles from my home that might not be organic and foods labeled organic at the grocery store but wrapped in plastic and shipped from Ecuador...well, local wins out for me.
If only we could get the state to put such resources into ensuring that New Mexicans have the necessary support & legislation to make local food production a priority.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Other than Self
Sometimes I'm deeply aware of all the things I'm not, all the places I don't live, all the experiences I'll never have. I say this not in a depressed or defeated spirit, but simply with some clarity about who I am and the choices I've made. There's a song I know: "There's a road that I can not go down/choosing one path leaves the other out/there's a road, there's a way/there's a road to a better day and/the road less traveled I'll be on." I think this is why I so often fall prey to indecisiveness; not everything can be "both/and," so I end up having to eliminate an option by choosing a different one.
This past weekend I watched two more movies out of India and we also went to a local theater production at an amazing outdoor venue. The play was Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which is trance- and dream-like in effect. I felt altered - into a different place, time, and self.
I'll never be Indian. I'll never look or sing or dance like the beautiful Bollywood actresses. I'll never act as well as the folks involved with the local Virus theater.
In fact, I'll never have a different past. I'll never be able to experience a different version of growing up. I cannot and will not ever be native to a different place than Grand Rapids, MI USA.
Obviously, as much of this has to do with my choice as my circumstance. I potentially could act and do it well, but I don't choose to spend my energy there, so I won't.
Watching these things reinforce the finiteness of my personhood & experience and serve to make me aware of the choices I've made, thus limiting my life in a way I desire. I'm reminded of the things in life I'm grateful for, and have chosen in good faith.
This is such a stereotypical "coming of age" sort of realization, and I'm almost a little impatient with myself for thinking that it's worthy of a blog entry. You all know it's nothing new, and yet every time someone becomes just a little more aware - a little more conscious of self - it is akin to lighting one more candle. The collective brightness of attentiveness isn't trivial.
This past weekend I watched two more movies out of India and we also went to a local theater production at an amazing outdoor venue. The play was Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which is trance- and dream-like in effect. I felt altered - into a different place, time, and self.
I'll never be Indian. I'll never look or sing or dance like the beautiful Bollywood actresses. I'll never act as well as the folks involved with the local Virus theater.
In fact, I'll never have a different past. I'll never be able to experience a different version of growing up. I cannot and will not ever be native to a different place than Grand Rapids, MI USA.
Obviously, as much of this has to do with my choice as my circumstance. I potentially could act and do it well, but I don't choose to spend my energy there, so I won't.
Watching these things reinforce the finiteness of my personhood & experience and serve to make me aware of the choices I've made, thus limiting my life in a way I desire. I'm reminded of the things in life I'm grateful for, and have chosen in good faith.
This is such a stereotypical "coming of age" sort of realization, and I'm almost a little impatient with myself for thinking that it's worthy of a blog entry. You all know it's nothing new, and yet every time someone becomes just a little more aware - a little more conscious of self - it is akin to lighting one more candle. The collective brightness of attentiveness isn't trivial.
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