Thursday, July 12, 2007

Queen Vacillation

Oh, Bethany -

When will you ever get good at decisiveness? When will you stop waiting for the "right" choice to smack you in the face, and instead operate with the best you've got, and have some faith?

Just when I think something might make sense, a thought or feeling - a conversation or moment in time - occurs and changes it all.

I guess this is something to be grateful for, and something I can attribute to the larger plan for my life that the Divine Mystery (God/dess) has for my life. Maybe it's grace in disguise. By keeping me on my toes just enough to keep my attention God proves to me (through me) that I don't have all the answers...never have, never can, never will, never should, never want to.

Life really is more exciting when you don't have the illusion of total control, but it's still a bit of a shock to be reminded of my limited vision.

A friend said tonight (I paraphrase): five years ago who knew that you'd be where you are today? And five years from today?

It's a mystery. My illusions of certainty crumble somewhat regularly; I ask for it, and yet I'm always surprised.

2 comments:

Tyler Connoley said...

In dancing, I love to follow. Especially in a fast dance, like a quick two-step, I love that feeling of just holding on, "listening" to the other person's body with my whole being, and not knowing where we'll end up next.

I think that's also my favorite way to be in relationship to Spirit, too. Hold on and listen with my whole being, and be surprised at where I end up next.

"Make the music weave a spell.
Whirl away your worry.
Things look almost twice as well,
when they're slightly blurry."
-Mrs. Malloy, Hello, Dolly!

bethanyjoy said...

And this is one of the reasons I love you so much, Tyler. Thanks for "spinning" it to feel like the blessing it is.